I usually have pretty vivid dreams but this one was just so real. It was november 15th and there was some kind of city carnival going on in Claremont. Tyler came down and i guess it was also some sort of holiday because my whole family including my aunt and cousins were there. My grandma was making dinner and they all kept converstion with tyler going because they liked him so much... almost to the point of annoyance. On the way to the carnival we stop at an abandoned house that my mom is selling.. its blue and brokendown.. theres a strange tree out front with monkey bars between branches... my aunt, mom, sister, cousin lauren and i hang from the bars and talk. My sister starts to freak out because she remembers this is some rich girls house that she goes to school with and she doesnt want to be seen there.. but of course all of a sudden the rich girl and her friend pull up to the house. They get out and my aunt and mom make jokes as if they are both drunk... and the girls are suddenly 3 years old hanging from the monkey bars and laughing. One girl has long, dark, thin hair and brown freckles on her face and she is looking at me as if we know eachother really well and i begin to feel like she is related to me in some way... so i joke with her about her age because i thought she was so much older. So we go to this carnival and i see people i went to elementary school with like Rachel Weizcoreck and her little sister and Kaitlyn and her whole family. Its late at night and when while we are walking tyler is having a couple drinks.... he disapears and i start feeling this intense anger towards him but he calls me and lets me know he is on his way to my parents... he had to do something and he will meet me there. I start getting this strange feeling in my stomach like i know he is going to so something to embarass me and maybe i should tell him ill take him home but my parents love him so much i decide not to. On the way out, rachel and I are walking and she leaves as she sees her mom, awkwardly tells me that she will see me sometime again (even though i havent talked to her since 6th grade and the whole time we were together we had nothing to talk about), and runs away. My sister is younger lookiing now... how i remember her when she was really young and had big hair and little tiny glasses for her face.. my cousin breeaanna is with her and we are all laughing with my parents and grandma about something that my grandmas 'new' brother said. I guess he is really young and was telling funny family stories. My grandma is laughing and i love seeing her happy but as we approach the sidewalks outside the carnival she grows very old and is walking alone with a cane. I tell my mom that i cant stand seeing her this way and i want to pause our family so none of us can ever get older, but she laughs and i start to run away. I start to freak out and run to my car. once i get in i shrink and im not able to reach the pedals.. and im suddenly drunk. An intense anxiety rolls over me as i start the car because i dont want to get pulled over. I drive out of control, swerve, run lights, hit other cars.. im balling out of control but i still manage to get home okay. It is daytime again and its raining hard. I walk up the steps to my front door and the family just got done eating and playing games.. its late at night now. everyone asks where tyler is because they invited him to sleep over (which apparently was a huge deal because they didnt stop talking about it).. and i stall for him because i have no idea where he is. Im in the kitchen telling stories with my family and my mom brings outs a cupcake with a candle and my dad blows it out... i dont know why but suddenly realize its past midnight and its now his birthday. He laughs that ive forgotten and my phone rings. I put it on speaker and tyler says he is on his way.. and sounds as if hes a bit drunk. He says hes fine and that hes almost to my house. im now laying in my bedroom waiting and starting to get angry because no one in my family will go to sleep until tyler comes home but he still hasnt showed and its very late. I call him and he is laughing hysterically saying hes outside my house.. but he isnt. then we come to the conclusion that he is at the wrong house *the blue broken down one we were at earlier) and says he thought that was my house and he wil be home soon. When he arrives everyone cheers and i lead him to my bedroom. i ask where hes been and he says he doesnt know but continues to laugh. He goes back out to the living room and starts to have a conversation with my parents, im terrified they will see that he is drunk so i try to stop it but as i do tyler starts to vomit. My parents faces are now very serious and i lead tyler to the bedroom as i try to clean him up... he vomits banana chunks in my hair and all over my floor... and in the meantime still finds time to find this all hilarious. Raychel all of a sudden bursts in and tells me she drove him home but she couldnt get him to stop drinking after they hooked up and she is angry with him. i stop helping him and she jumps in and starts beating the crap out of him because while he was drunk he bought he a really bad gift (some kind of doll she thought was ugly). I get overwhelmed with hate and started to realize i was dreaming. i kept trying to get myself to wake up and i could literally feel my eyelids try to move but they were stuck.
everything is more intense when your asleep
Light, Danielle
1/15/09
1/13/09
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